True Story: 25 & Pregnant

Today is my 35th birthday! I’m a HUGE believer in celebrating birthdays. Every year, I host some sort of birthday dinner, or weekend or trip—anything to get my friends and family together to celebrate my big day! My 35th birthday, a milestone some say, made me reflect on another (maybe) milestone, my 25th birthday, September 20, 2011. I’d just moved to Chicago a couple of years before my 25th. In the early years of my relocation, I’d find any reason to go home to Kentucky. So, for my 25th birthday, I decided to host a huge birthday dinner there! One month out, I called the special events person at a local restaurant, started searching for an outfit and sending out feelers to get a gauge of how many guests I needed to prepare for. I was so excited.

Labor Day weekend 2011, just two weeks before my 25th birthday, is one I’ll never forget. By Labor Day weekend 2011, I was in full-on execution mode for my big dinner. I’d gotten my outfit, sent over a deposit, sent out invites, was monitoring the RSVP list, y’know doing everything a shrewd Virgo would to make sure everything went off without a hitch. Labor Day weekend 2011, however, would prove to be the hitch of ALL hitches. That Friday, my boyfriend of a couple of years and I broke up. It was a ‘for real this time’ sort of breakup. I was done. Heartbroken, but done. I tried to go on about my weekend. I tried to still make Labor Day weekend 2011 happen. It was mediocre at best. At that time, I’d been interning at EBONY magazine for a couple of months. We used to get invites to all sorts of events, so I attended one that Monday, the day Labor Day is actually observed. I went alone.

While there, I popped out my trusty pack of birth control pills. I’d just started them about a month before, y’know so I was safe instead of sorry. When I took my pill, I noticed my cycle was a couple of days late. Day one I didn’t think much about it, these things happen when starting a new birth control regimen. I thought my body was adjusting. Day two got me thinking. So, as a precautionary measure only, I went and took a pregnancy test. It was positive. In one weekend, Labor Day weekend 2011, I broke up with my boyfriend (for real this time) and found out I was pregnant. In that order. My 25th birthday party was off—I cancelled it. And at that point, I was also pretty sure my life was over. The months that followed were tumultuous. I cried every single day from September until November. During that time, I was told by some that I’d have to move home, that I’d ruined my dreams, and by others that I was right there on the brink of success and jeopardized it all, that I wasn’t going to be able to support myself, that I made things 10x harder for myself and on. And on. And I almost believed them.

I stood in a park one day, listening to my internal chatter. Mulling over the fact that I’d been DOING THE DAMN THING for two years in Chicago and was now in such a dark place. I just knew I’d be hired on at EBONY after my internship—but not now. I knew my future was brighter than it’d ever been, but suddenly, it felt like someone flipped the switch and just like that—my light was gone. I remember standing in that park asking myself, ‘What if it’s all over?’ As soon as I asked that question a voice, clear as ever spoke and said, ‘What if it isn’t?’ Let me tell you something about 25 or 35-year-old Jori, all I need is a reason. Throw me ANY sort of rescue and I’ll grab ahold of whatever life throws my way and ride that thing out. That voice, that hope, was all I needed. 2 months later I was offered a role at EBONY. 8 months later, Matthew Alexander Seay was born. And you know the rest.

Today is my 35th birthday!Ten years ago, I was at my lowest. Today, my wings, which are supported by the strength and fortitude of my experience, my story, have me soaring higher than ever before. I don’t share my story for it to inspire you. I share it so that you can take a moment to reflect on your own story. So that you can inspire yourself. Where were you September 2011? What were you doing? What were you hoping for? What looked impossible? No matter what your answer is to any or all of that, I know one thing: You made it! We made it. So, on this day, my 35th birthday, I hope you take a moment to honor yourself. Fill your cup! Treat yourself to something nice. Take care of yourself. But most of all be inspired by yourself…your journey…your story!