Boundaries as a Lifestyle

Your fire is not my flame.
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This quote perfectly encapsulates one of the major areas in which I’ve struggled. In a nutshell...it’s about boundary setting. ⁣
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I am that friend/family member who pushes ride or die to the max! For years, I made other people’s problems my own. I’d shoulder and carry the weight of their hurt, pain, mistakes and/or decisions. They’d call and I’d be there—no matter what was going on in my own life. In turn, their worries, setbacks and strife became mine. As can be imagined, I stayed stressed and pressed.⁣
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Once I learned how to acknowledge my own emotions and internal state of being, I was able to still genuinely care about the happenings in my loved ones lives, but draw a line in the sand when it came to how much of my own energy I spent working out their issues. I was able to advocate for myself. To lend a hand and give advice, but also have the courage to say this is a lot for me to handle right now. ⁣
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It is not your responsibility to act or react every time fire alarms start ringing in your family and loved ones lives. Maybe life is trying to teach them something. Maybe God is trying to tell them something. Sure there are exceptions here, but generally speaking, their fire shouldn’t even cause a spark in your life.⁣
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For those of you who, like me, struggle with this sort of superhero syndrome: hang up your cape. Protect your peace. Do and say whatever you can to immediately provide solace and support and then let life take its course.